Sunday, December 30, 2012

Just In Case You Were Wondering

Yeah, it's been ... years. I'm sure you'll get over it. 
But I just wanted to give you one quick update. This happened:

Friday, February 11, 2011

Miss me yet?

I keep getting random hits from really odd places around the world on a blog that I haven't posted on in over a year. Yup, you guessed it - this is that blog.

So I thought I'd post a quick note to say that no, I'm not dead.  Just pathetic.  I've basically had no life for over a year now and the world seems to have slowed to a snails pace.  Most days just blend together.  I swear it's only been three months since I sold my house and most of my belongings to some random retired couple from Washington, but I know it's been much longer.  Sad, I know, but what can ya do?

Anyway, I've got some promising prospects coming up that will hopefully get me out of the dungeon and back into the real world.  If so I may actually have something to write about again - so wish me luck, and hopefully I'll see you soon!

hhmm . . maybe I should do something about that missing background.  Eh, that can wait for another day when I might write something that someone will actually want to read.

Love ya, BS'ers (that's short for Blog Stalkers - not the other BS)

In the meantime, please enjoy this picture of Chuck the Wonder Dog. :D

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Is it odd . .

that I randomly blogstalk people I've never met and steal ideas from their blogs? Okay, that's not totally true. She did ask for people to make their own lists and the post them back to her - so here goes:

Is it odd that I:

* could and would eat an entire watermelon every week if they were available year round?
* am having a very hard time thinking of things that are odd about me even though I know the list is extremely long?
* will stay in bed for hours pretending to be asleep because I believe everyday starts better with sunshine?
* will stay up until 2am so that I will sleep in later and not have to pretend?
* can take hours to do something simple and easy because I get distracted by Mah Jong games?
* have HUNDREDS of recipes in not one, but two special folders bookmarked on my computer but I've only ever made maybe two of them?
* can hear a song just once and then be able to sing it word for word (but if the music isn't playing I can hardly get out two lines of the chorus)?
* have developed crushes on all of the boys from The Big Bang Theory (except Howard . . those bright red pants and turtleneck dickies just don't do it for me)?
* that I've got chocolate and junk food (chocolate is never considered junk in my world) stashed in random places all over the house but I rarely eat it? Or at least rarely finish it before it's stale?
* that I refuse to add people from high school as friends on Facebook? I'll accept their request if they send it to me, but I won't send out the invitation. Call me insecure or something.
* that I get disappointed when I don't get any mail? It makes me feel important when I get credit card offers.
* that I LOVE buying shoes (I probably own 50 pair) but I HATE wearing them?
* tell everyone I'm opposed to blind dating but really it's a confidence thing and I'm always afraid the guy will be disappointed (but don't tell my friends, they'll get mad and start trying to set me up again)?
* that I often forget to eat and then can't figure out why I've got a headache?

So tell me what makes you odd and/or normal?

Make your own list and link it back to me and to Kelly cuz we want to know too. Plus, knowing your oddities makes us feel better about ourselves.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Set Ups

Am I the only one that's morally opposed to the set up? I have this theory (you'll soon learn that I have a lot of those and very few of them are based in reality) about being set up or blind dating. One of two things is bound to happen, either A) things turn out great and you hit it off and get married and are then obligated to remain besties with whomever it was that introduced you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE or B) it goes either badly or really badly and you sit there throughout the evening plotting revenge on your former friend and thinking, "This is what they consider compatible?!? It's not that we're in different leagues [after all, you don't want to seem too shallow], but we're playing totally different sports."

Don't get me wrong, I understand that in this day and age - and at my age - the options for ways to meet men are limited at best. I could meet someone at church, bump into someone at the grocery store, drop my water bottle in front of them at the gym, hit on the FedEx guy, update my (nonexistent) online profile, or allow my friends to introduce me to potential suitors (yup, I said it).

Just last week I got a text from my BFF, MJ, saying that she had, "a lead on a 31 yr old guy from Minnesota who works with Ike (her brother)." I know she didn't mean it, but it makes me sound like a victim on CSI. I guess I should be grateful that I'm not naked and laying on an ice cold autopsy table . . but is that where my dating life is? Have I become the cold dead corpse?

So here's my question, single readers, do your friends consider you projects? Do they feel the need to set you up with everyone they come across because you're both single? And is that enough to consider giving it a try? Or do you have a higher standard that a blind date must meet before you'll go out with them? Do you go out with anyone because it's free food (don't laugh, that's what got me through college)?

You see, my house is now under contract and the new buyers want me out ASAP and would like to rent it from me until the sale closes. Actually, they even want to buy all of my things . . couch, bed, kitchen table, dishes, towels, sheets, decorations etc etc etc. I'm not sure if I should feel flattered that the like my style or freaked out because this retired couple is trying to take over my life. But that's not the point. My problem is that due to the fact that I'm soon to be both unemployed and living in my parents basement in the middle of nowhere, I don't think I'll ever date again. Or the very least, not until I find a job and get out of there and with with economy, who knows when that might happen. I'm sure there are single guys down there but I'm related to 97% of them and the rest are divorced with multiple kids. So do I now lower my standards and go out with anyone because it's better to be with someone than to be alone? Or do I hold out and risk becoming the crazy cat lady that lives with her parents??

Monday, October 26, 2009

Reasons I'm Glad I'm Still Single

Number One:

Today I watched a man in the back of Sunday School reach up and pick something out of his wife's nose. And she seemed 100% okay with it. Have they never heard the saying,

"You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose?"

Last I checked, that counted for spouses too.

By far one of the most disturbing/disgusting things I've ever witnessed. I would prefer to never be THAT comfortable with anyone - ever.

I'm sure I'll come up with more reasons along the way.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


I was hoping to have a little more background information on this guy before I did an update post but I haven't gotten it yet and I know inquiring minds want to know, so I thought I'd just go ahead with it.

I went to church on Sunday, still unsure if I was going to stay for the whole meeting or not. Twenty minutes into Sacrament Meeting I was ready to leave. I knew the circus was in town, but I had no idea they were coming to my ward. So needless to say, he plan was to pay my tithing and then ditch so I could make it to the Single (adult) Ward on time.

When the meeting ended I happened to walk past a girl friend from high school (imagine my surprise a few months back when I realized she was in my ward) and told her I needed to talk to her and asked her to call me later (and that is the aforementioned information I was hoping to have for the post) but she's got four kids and is kinda crazy busy.

I was headed out of the chapel with my sunglasses on my head and my keys in my hand when I happened to pass "that guy" in the hall. He was talking to someone else so I tried to avoid eye contact and keep moving but he wasn't having it. "Walk quickly and with a purpose" is what kept running through my head. I was relieved when I hit the door without any real interaction. Outside the door was another crazy weird guy in the ward who was having some sort of an altercation with one of his Sunday School kids and making a little scene of his own - and we all know there can only be one of those a day, right?

Half way down the stairs I heard someone calling, "Christine! Christine?" I knew there were no other women around and even though I knew it was him I kept going because (work with me here) my name is NOT Christine. I've been called by my sisters name many many times in the past but never by her middle name so I chose to ignore it.

I was at my car, I can do this. No, no I can't. I opened the door and turned around to get in and he was two feet away with his clear braces right in my face. And this is where I protectively get behind the door.

"Hey Christine, I'm really sorry about the other day. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I don't want you to think I'm stalking you or anything (FYI: this is why you don't correct a creepy man when he gets your name wrong - makes it much harder to cyberstalk). But, I just really think you're pretty so if you'd like to go out sometime call me." So not gonna be your arm candy, buddy.

"Ya know, honestly," I countered, "I was under the impression that you were married."

"Oh no!" He says like I should have known better. "My divorce was finalized a couple of months ago."

When recounting this story to a friend at the SAW she informed me of her rule which I've got to say, I'm going to adopt. The divorce must be finalized for over a year before I'll consider going out with you (of course that wouldn't have made a difference with this guy).

So anyway, when talking to MJ about this on the phone earlier in the week she asked if I could find a picture, "Do they have pictures on the ward website?" I have no way of knowing - I'm not registered to get on the site. So instead ... I used my second favorite tool: Google. And while I didn't find a picture, I did find a comment he'd left on Feminist Mormon Housewives (how's that for a contradiction in terms?!?) a while back. And yes, I realize you can figure how who he is by digging around this blog but honestly, I'm okay with that because I don't think any of you are really THAT concerned. However, if I suddenly disappear one day and no one knows what happened to me, start digging around there and check him out first.

Anyone who thinks they can get rich by putting facebook out of business automatically gets a big fat NO in my book. Before you ask, yes I'm sure it's really him and not just someone with the same name. The phone numbers matched up to those on his business card.

And I guess the argument could be made as to whether looking someone up online before you go out with them is a good idea or not. In this case, it really wouldn't have made a difference because there's no way I was going to go out with him anyway, but what about the next guy I meet? And has anyone ever done that to me? Actually, that wouldn't really matter either. Other than my blogs I don't have much of a google worthy internet presence anyway.

What do you guys think? Is it a good idea to google potential dates? Have you ever done it? Do tell!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Who would have thought . .

. . that I'd LONG for the day when guys tried to ask me out via text message. Okay, let's be honest, I'm not much of a dater anymore and no one tries to ask me out by text or any other way for the most part. But is has happened to many friends of mine - one specifically (you know who you are - and now everyone else does too. PS Congrats on the impending nuptials and may he NEVER plan a date night via text).

Here's what happened (Tony Shalhoub and Jim Parsons were ROBBED): Melissa and I were preparing for the season premier of The Big Bang Theory and as part of that, I took Chuck for a quick walk to get out some of his energy before our guests (who am I kidding - guest, singular) arrived. Since it was just going to be a walk I just threw on some old sneakers and a hoodie over my tshirt (so that passerbys couldn't tell I wasn't wearing a bra) and went on my way.

Half way around the block I passed by the home of a family in my ward. I'd seen them arriving late many a time and hiding out in the overflow along with me and most of the other young families, but never paid them much mind - other than to notice that their middle kid has a SERIOUS case of middle-child-syndrome. Oh, and they have a son that has just recently gone on a mission.

Anyway, as I was passing by the house the father (whom I think is in the EQ Presidency - but I don't know why I think that . . carrying a binder, maybe?) was out grabbing the mail. He stopped me - but not Chuck who continued to run circles around my feet trying to get at their cat - and introduced himself. He said, "You're in our ward, right? I've seen you in the back. Are you seeing anyone?" Now I'm annoyed. I'm not going out with his single brother/cousin/coworker just because we're both single. That doesn't mean we've got anything in common. Come on single readers, help me out. How annoying is that?!?

I was paying more attention to Chuck than the conversation because I didn't really care about his matchmaking skills and failed to censor myself appropriately. "Do you want to go out sometime?" And looking back in it now, I probably shouldn't have scoffed and said, "NO!" It took me a second to realize what had just happened. He didn't say he wanted to set me up. He actually asked me out. "I've seen you at church and you're really pretty . . . (stammer, stammer, stammer)" What the hell?!? I thought he was married? Who are the kids? Who was the woman he was with at church? Is the kid on the mission that he gave a talk about just two weeks ago his? And of course, in light of the next paragraph, how am I supposed to answer his question?

Oh crap, oh crap oh crap is running circles through my head. You see, not even a week ago, Melissa and I had gone for a walk with Chuck the Wonder Dog and passed by his house just as he was getting home. I said to her (because he was watching us), "He's in my ward. I think he's in the EQ Pres so I'm sure he's a really nice guy, but I've got to tell you the truth. He really gives me the creeps. He's always staring at me. I'm sure he's just doing his duties and wondering if I've got a Home Teacher or whatever, but still . . it's awkward." My bad. I felt so horrible, that I considered calling/texting him to apologize for being so snotty, but I really don't want to encourage anything. If those are indeed his kids, there are FIVE of them! And what happened to the woman? Buried in the back yard? Wrapped up in a rug in the landfill? Vacationing in Mexico with girlfriends? His sister?

"Sorry, you really caught me off guard." I stammer as Chuck tries - almost successfully - again to reach their orange cat that is now cowering by the basketball hoop. He then handed me his card and told me to call him and we'd go out (or not). Then trying to be the gentleman he said that he's had a lot of experience training dogs and could help me with mine (as Chuck peed in their bushes) and if I'd like, he'd walk me home. Hhhmm . . no. But I do think I hurt his feelings and I really do feel bad about that and I'm not sure what to do with it.

So what now? Thoughts? Advice? I think it wouldn't be so weird if there were a ton more single people in the ward that I could just blend into . . but as far as I can tell, I'm the only one there under the age of 40. Seriously, I'm dying here. Tell me what to do, oh mighty blog stalkers.

Too much information you say? Suck it up and tell me what to do. <3
All of the true things that I am about to tell you are shameless lies.
- Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.